Helping Your Autistic Child Navigate Family Changes
Change can feel like a tidal wave for autistic children, who often cling to the anchor of routine. In The Place I Am Meant to Be, therapist Evelyn Lauda shares her heartfelt journey of guiding her three sons, two on the autism spectrum, through a divorce and a move to Luxembourg.
With 25 years of clinical wisdom, she offers practical strategies to help parents support their autistic child during family transitions, turning chaos into calm.
Evelyn’s youngest, Oakley, faced the divorce like a storm. When his father, Jack, dragged the kids into a tense money dispute, Oakley spiraled into a panic attack. He was terrified and ended up homeless. Evelyn identified this as his brain's alarm system going into overdrive, which is a typical reaction in children with autism who are confronted with change. She teamed up with Oakley’s psychologist, who used storytelling exercises to help him name his fears, like taming a wild animal. Evelyn urges parents to seek professional support, whether through therapy or school counselors, to give kids the tools to process big emotions.
To ground her sons, Evelyn leaned on the power of choice. For example, during the move, she let them pick wall colors for their new rooms, a small act that felt like planting a flag in new territory. For autistic kids, who may feel swept away by change, these decisions restore control. She suggests using visual aids, like a calendar marking moving day, or simple explanations to make transitions clear. When her eldest, Hunter, resisted visits with Jack after arguments, Evelyn didn’t push. Instead, she listened. She validated his feelings with his therapist’s guidance, showing respect for his boundaries.
Routines were Evelyn’s lifeline. Even amid packing boxes, she kept dinner and bedtime consistent, like a familiar song in a strange place. She advises parents to preserve rituals, like a favorite bedtime story, to ease anxiety. Sensory needs also took center stage. Knowing Oakley could get overwhelmed, she carved out a quiet corner in their new home with his favorite blanket. Parents can create similar safe spaces or offer noise-canceling headphones to dial down sensory chaos.
Evelyn’s advocacy shone in Luxembourg’s schools, where she trained teachers on autism, ensuring her sons had support like extra time on tasks. Parents, she says, should meet with educators early to outline needs, turning schools into allies. Above all, Evelyn modeled strength. By seeking therapy herself, she showed her sons it’s okay to ask for help, like refueling for a long journey.
In The Place I Am Meant to Be, Evelyn’s story is a warm embrace for parents. With therapy, choice, routine, sensory care, and advocacy, she assures that anyone can guide their autistic children through change. Her wisdom reminds us that every step forward counts, no matter how small.
Dive into Evelyn Lauda’s The Place I Am Meant to Be for more insights on supporting autistic kids through life’s shifts and to learn more about how to overcome and move past a toxic relationship.
Here is a link to purchase her book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967679843.
